Motherhood

Well, I have just completed my first week at work, they call it part-time even if you just drop seven and half hours. It was a hard four days, work have already messed up on my days off so I had to work four days in a row which meant I have missed spending quality time with George.

During that week, I was full of cold, everyone in the back office kept their distance due to my coughing, spluttering and constant blowing of my nose, when I left work, I felt rough and looked like Rudolf. Since having George, I’ve been sick so many times, still can’t shift it and have lost count on the times I’ve contacted the GP.

Had to take a carer’s leave day off, the week before as Georgie was sick and nursery couldn’t take him, at first I felt guilty when I had to call work, but now I don’t George comes first before work and I’m sure every parent would understand.

Out of all my friends, I only know one mum who gets to stay at home with their child, I thought first of all, how lucky to be able to afford that and be sane!

I spent most of my life working towards a career in nursing and now I need something more therapeutic where i feel valued, less knackered and I can see my children grow up.

We are so lucky in this day and age, after women sacrificed themselves, and some lost their families in the Suffragette movement, to give women of the future a Vote, Rights, and Choices to improve their lives. I think people have forgotten this as well as what life was like before a Free health service.

All these changes have which occured before I was born but have made a difference!

End of the holiday …

Well, it was my first shift this week and despite their efforts to make it a shadow shift, that went out of the window, I was in the numbers and straight on an eyesight observations with a troubled teen! The ward has changed so much in a year, no smoking policy, no drug cards all online and a fairly new team!

Also I had the joy of taking my sick Georgie to nursery prior to going to work and having a mini argument with the finance person in nursery due to me bringing George in his pushchair! It was freezing outside and she wanted me to leave pushchair outside and then bring George in.When I eventually got G out of his pramsuit, I saw a big notice on the baby window stating some baby has contracted Chickenpox and that it will be doing the rounds. Great, that evening after I returned from work, I discovered a very hot George and spots all over his legs and arms.

Doing my research, this wasn’t the usual for pox, as it usually starts on their face and chest. Daddy took him to the doctors day after for clarification and to be informed it is just a viral rash and a common cold although he may get chickenpox as well. Also I discovered that Lee and I may get shingles if thats the case.

Rest of the week has been crazy, George had established crawling last week and now is EVERYWHERE, he follows me and has worked out how to open the stairgate through to the kitchen. However, he just sits at the gate and swings it so lucklier its not that bad.

I am now in the search of types of containment for each room, especially the bathroom so I can get a shower and not ran out and grab him before he crawls out of the door.

Four days left til the Apocalyse…

Well what can I say, think George and I have has a mavellous time together, managed to afford to take a year off and what a year it was!

From growing as a parent going through the spectrum of emotions, meeting other wonderful mums and dads going through just the same anxieties. Enjoying all the happiness and joy that Georgie has given us over the last ten and three quarter months!

Watching him change and grow into a little adventurer and clever one at that, when all the little ones were starting to crawl, George just gave us all the royal wave and we bowed at his creativity.

One of the skills, I think I have excelled at, is my creativity, it is one skill you can adapt to a range of jobs and raising children. I’m not into putting my little one in front of the tv, I get bored anyhow and feel that babies develop better with lots of playtime and stories.

Whilst being on my KIT days, (keeping in touch days) at work, which is something all mums/dads can do before returning to work. After you receive your last maternity stat pay, you can do up to ten days paid by your employer – this being any training, updates etc you need to do. It also helps you not feel under-confident and swamped when you return to work.

My time management has never been a strong point and for the last 5 years, I was always getting reminded by the boss about keeping up-to-date with my E-learning, now I have achieved nearly all of it in my KIT days, so I can concentrate on working with my patients.

Actually it felt quite nice being back at work, loads of changes but much easier than thinking about planning George’s day. Daddy has next week off to do all that while I have a full week at training, however minus the early morning wake-ups, it will feel like Respite.

The juggling will begin, offically when I start work, am still attending university part-time but it is fairly mild at the moment. An exam in March, will be exciting, just to add more craziness to the pot!

New year, new bra

Well, have shared ten months so far with my little pickle and experienced so many changes in my body, emotions, and relationships with all those close.

One of my acheivements was the success of breastfeeding.  Now I am weaning him slowly off and luckily not getting any of the awful infections which some of my friends have unfortunately experienced – mastitis or thrush.

My boobs have gone from a DD cup down four sizes, but it feels bloody good, trying on, and buying new attractive bras which are made for me and don’t have an alternative function.

It’s a new year, so of course a new me, back to work in two weeks, mixed feelings about this, thats when the real juggling begins. Although some days with George are exhausting and I wish I was at work, when I am with George, he amazes with his curiosity to all the little things we grown-ups take for granted.

 

December

My maternity leave has flown by, George has changed from a tiny baby into a bum shuffling adrenaline little monkey! He has developed so quickly from his first smile to a beautiful babbling and waving little boy. All his characteristics and personality are emerging, he knows what he shouldn’t play with i.e nappy bags, when I find him not amid his toys but at the most dangerous part of the living room – the fireplace.

All the thoughts of danger pass through my mind, when I can’t see him, we did have a near miss, when he rolled off the bed but luckily he was in a thick sleeping bag which must have softened his fall, but makes you feel like such a bad mum for leaving the room.

When I speak to other mums, they reassure me that it happens to them all, and from being overcautious initially with every new rash or bump, I can safely say I think Lee too, that we have overcome the worst.

My new life as a mum is an amazing adventure, the lifestyle of baby classes, cinema, and even the experience of soft play are fantastic. Developing my culinary skills by making Annabel’s dishes,  Taking the steak away from Daddy to make a delicious dish for G was amusing. Most of all, meeting other mums and listening to their stories on how they cope with their little ones, learning new things to try and feeling listened to about my worries and concerns.

The changes which occur in your relationship are massive, and such a learning curse for new parents. The difference of how fathers are with their babiescompared to their other halves, are a world apart. Dressing, activity, level of engagement, play, chatting all aids their development, but you can see how your little ones react differently to each parent.

George’s no fear policy is alittle discerning, he frequently dives out of his snug, head first into the carpet and then tells me in a loud scream that he has carpet burn on his nose. I noticed he was rocking on the wooden highchair in a restaurant the other day, by resting one foot on the leg of the table and pushing himself away. Thertefore my eyes are constantly on him, as my mind.

You can understand why  i am having problems letting him go into his own room now.

 

 

j

Never say never…

I should have learnt by now that you should never say certain words, being a nurse you know never to say ” how quiet it is” on a ward, or in the community as it is inevitable that it won’t be quiet for long! So last Thursday, what did I say to some friends/ other mums, that I can handle wee and poo but not too good with sick.

Last Friday, George began coughing after a feed and then proceeded to projectile vomit over me and this continued for several hours. What was even worse, I was then sick, intermittently, which was horrendous. I think George and I took it in turns at one point. Inbetween this, multi-tasking as usual, I managed to ring Daddy and get him home as it was impossible to care for G on my own.

How do single parents manage this? Bloody hell they are fantastic in my opinion.

All weekend, we have been trapped at home, as G continued to be sick every morning and give Daddy a nasty surprize when changing his nappy, spontantous diarrhoea, just when we thought he was getting better!

You have to laugh, remember though, be careful what you say as it will probably become true!

Feeling accomplished…

After a week of what I call hell, where I couldn’t breastfeed George, due to me being prescribed antibiotics which has limited evidence on the side effects for baby.

I had experienced sheer pain from engorgement and having to express every two hours which meant I was housebound. Then we had to start formula feeding, which is a procedure in itself, sterilising bottles and teats, having the correct teat. We thought a fast teat would be fine for George, however, the milk just ran down his face, so had to use a slow teat which is all what we had at hand.

We were in limbo, between the world of breastfeeding well, expressing and formula and George wasn’t feeding every 3 hours, he was between 4-6 hours. If anyone does formula feed, instruction says to boil kettle 30 mins before feed, well this is difficult when you’re not sure on feeding time. Had to wake my partner for night feeds as my boobs were too painful to hold George and feed him on the bottle.

I used cabbage leaves to reduce the swelling and pain from the engorgement, but maybe I went over the top with this as I slept with them in bra and thus milk supply reduced. Only being able to express 3oz in total from both boobs. I felt our close relationship was coming to an end, so weighing up the pros and cons and stopped the antibiotics after 5 days.

Leaving the house yesterday with just George and I was fantastic, having your independance back  and freedom from a breastpump and the house is the best. We spent the afternoon at a sensory class and mixing with other mums. I also managed to make a few meals for George before bedtime and a batch of scones for my other half and I to enjoy.

Today, I felt accomplished, I was dreading this but I managed this own my own, taking Georgie for his second term of swimming lessons. He loved kicking his feet and chasing ducks. I didn’t drop him, I was able to get in and out of the pool with George in one arm and holding the bannister with the other. Even the changing procedure was ok, baby talc is a lifesaver and  the support and kindness of the other mums who were all in the same boat.

A wriggling six and half month baby is slightly harder than a younger baby, I was advised not to use the lift down changing table as it sloped downwards which isn’t what you need.

Going to try fenugreek capsules which I hear you can make a tea, and this increases your milk production, as it will take awhile for it to go up. In the meantime, George is eating for England, it took several bowls of weetabix, yoghurt, puree last night to get him to bed.