Six months on ….

Well its six months since I left maternity leave and how I wish I could be back there, it is a time for most new mums to find their feet, understand themselves, their strengths and overcome any weaknesses with caring for their baby and partner.

Where your anxieties are in overdrive, with every new illness or symptom turning you and your partner into a quivering wreck, you have the GP number on speed dial and you know how to get to A & E in the dark.

Although work is work, and it was hard at first leaving George, I find it’s the best of both worlds for my sanity. My colleague friends at work treat me as Ruth the nurse and the new mum, the conversations change to daily life other than conversations about poo.

My days off with George are usually pre-arranged with other mums and babes or long-awaited catch up’s with old friends. Gone are the days of baby cinema, George will never sit still in my arms and I can’t even bribe him with boob milk.

It’s all about big noisy toys, walkers and ride-ons and anything George can find that makes a loud bang. The tantrums he has are interesting, can’t believe such a beautiful little boy can turn into a little angry man, literally throwing all his toys out of his cotbed and yelling, bottom lip out demanding I or Daddy come back and do as we are told.

Despite, the whirlwind of nursery, and juggling work with George, I have nearly completed my second year at uni and was considering my Masters this September. Unfortunately, the powers of be at work won’t allow it. And it might be pushing it, juggling two babies, my hubby and uni? !

 

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Motherhood

Well, I have just completed my first week at work, they call it part-time even if you just drop seven and half hours. It was a hard four days, work have already messed up on my days off so I had to work four days in a row which meant I have missed spending quality time with George.

During that week, I was full of cold, everyone in the back office kept their distance due to my coughing, spluttering and constant blowing of my nose, when I left work, I felt rough and looked like Rudolf. Since having George, I’ve been sick so many times, still can’t shift it and have lost count on the times I’ve contacted the GP.

Had to take a carer’s leave day off, the week before as Georgie was sick and nursery couldn’t take him, at first I felt guilty when I had to call work, but now I don’t George comes first before work and I’m sure every parent would understand.

Out of all my friends, I only know one mum who gets to stay at home with their child, I thought first of all, how lucky to be able to afford that and be sane!

I spent most of my life working towards a career in nursing and now I need something more therapeutic where i feel valued, less knackered and I can see my children grow up.

We are so lucky in this day and age, after women sacrificed themselves, and some lost their families in the Suffragette movement, to give women of the future a Vote, Rights, and Choices to improve their lives. I think people have forgotten this as well as what life was like before a Free health service.

All these changes have which occured before I was born but have made a difference!

The year has passed …

Wow, I can’t believe George is now a year old, Lee and I have managed to survive the weeks and months of having our first child and we didn’t screw it up.

So many changes and hurdles we have experienced and overcome. The different emotions expressed from George, Lee and I. I feel we have become stronger in our relationship with one another and reached another level becoming parents.

My whole life now is interwoven with George in it, I found myself slightly lost the other day when he was at nursery and I had three hours to myself. Rather than revise for an exam, I have in a months time, I looked around the living room at George’s toys and wished he was there. I was looking forward to my half a mile walk in the rain to nursery to pick him up, when Lee called to say he could pick him up in the car. My heart sank that I couldn’t see his little face beam up to me when I entered the baby room. He would often squirm in whoevers arms he was in at the time, or if on the floor, begin crawling rapidly towards me, reaching up for a cuddle or grabbing my trouser leg.

My lifestyle and attitude has changed since having George, I am more understanding to other parents about the difficulties of juggling work and home, the constant worry you have for the safety of your child. Analysing every nook and cranny at home to ensure G isn’t going to wack his head or put his fingers in the plug socket.

I look at friends who haven’t got kids, and am not envious of their lives,  I have no regrets on how I have lived my life before and I am glad I have achieved most of my plans before having a child.

My first thought in the morning is George and last at night, checking he is breathing in his cot bed, making sure he is warm and tucking his arm by his side when it has slipped through the railings.

My favourite places these days are coffee shops and soft play, a combination of both is perfect, suitable for both George and I.  Today, I found a quirky little coffee shop with a collection of random chairs and a bookshelf with a range of mind boggling books. Although slightly expensive, it was a change from the commercial franchaise of costa.

I nearly broke a 1970s vase as I put my coat on. I inspected the place further by visiting the toilet which had vintage paper of men and women on the walls. I spotted a collection of vinyl and record player situated at the back of the shop looking like customers can put on a record if they wished. This is right up my street. Prior to leaving, I asked the lady who had served me if they had any highchairs as if it was something off the menu.

No soft play, but good music, food, coffee and highchairs!

End of the holiday …

Well, it was my first shift this week and despite their efforts to make it a shadow shift, that went out of the window, I was in the numbers and straight on an eyesight observations with a troubled teen! The ward has changed so much in a year, no smoking policy, no drug cards all online and a fairly new team!

Also I had the joy of taking my sick Georgie to nursery prior to going to work and having a mini argument with the finance person in nursery due to me bringing George in his pushchair! It was freezing outside and she wanted me to leave pushchair outside and then bring George in.When I eventually got G out of his pramsuit, I saw a big notice on the baby window stating some baby has contracted Chickenpox and that it will be doing the rounds. Great, that evening after I returned from work, I discovered a very hot George and spots all over his legs and arms.

Doing my research, this wasn’t the usual for pox, as it usually starts on their face and chest. Daddy took him to the doctors day after for clarification and to be informed it is just a viral rash and a common cold although he may get chickenpox as well. Also I discovered that Lee and I may get shingles if thats the case.

Rest of the week has been crazy, George had established crawling last week and now is EVERYWHERE, he follows me and has worked out how to open the stairgate through to the kitchen. However, he just sits at the gate and swings it so lucklier its not that bad.

I am now in the search of types of containment for each room, especially the bathroom so I can get a shower and not ran out and grab him before he crawls out of the door.

Four days left til the Apocalyse…

Well what can I say, think George and I have has a mavellous time together, managed to afford to take a year off and what a year it was!

From growing as a parent going through the spectrum of emotions, meeting other wonderful mums and dads going through just the same anxieties. Enjoying all the happiness and joy that Georgie has given us over the last ten and three quarter months!

Watching him change and grow into a little adventurer and clever one at that, when all the little ones were starting to crawl, George just gave us all the royal wave and we bowed at his creativity.

One of the skills, I think I have excelled at, is my creativity, it is one skill you can adapt to a range of jobs and raising children. I’m not into putting my little one in front of the tv, I get bored anyhow and feel that babies develop better with lots of playtime and stories.

Whilst being on my KIT days, (keeping in touch days) at work, which is something all mums/dads can do before returning to work. After you receive your last maternity stat pay, you can do up to ten days paid by your employer – this being any training, updates etc you need to do. It also helps you not feel under-confident and swamped when you return to work.

My time management has never been a strong point and for the last 5 years, I was always getting reminded by the boss about keeping up-to-date with my E-learning, now I have achieved nearly all of it in my KIT days, so I can concentrate on working with my patients.

Actually it felt quite nice being back at work, loads of changes but much easier than thinking about planning George’s day. Daddy has next week off to do all that while I have a full week at training, however minus the early morning wake-ups, it will feel like Respite.

The juggling will begin, offically when I start work, am still attending university part-time but it is fairly mild at the moment. An exam in March, will be exciting, just to add more craziness to the pot!

New year, new bra

Well, have shared ten months so far with my little pickle and experienced so many changes in my body, emotions, and relationships with all those close.

One of my acheivements was the success of breastfeeding.  Now I am weaning him slowly off and luckily not getting any of the awful infections which some of my friends have unfortunately experienced – mastitis or thrush.

My boobs have gone from a DD cup down four sizes, but it feels bloody good, trying on, and buying new attractive bras which are made for me and don’t have an alternative function.

It’s a new year, so of course a new me, back to work in two weeks, mixed feelings about this, thats when the real juggling begins. Although some days with George are exhausting and I wish I was at work, when I am with George, he amazes with his curiosity to all the little things we grown-ups take for granted.

 

December

My maternity leave has flown by, George has changed from a tiny baby into a bum shuffling adrenaline little monkey! He has developed so quickly from his first smile to a beautiful babbling and waving little boy. All his characteristics and personality are emerging, he knows what he shouldn’t play with i.e nappy bags, when I find him not amid his toys but at the most dangerous part of the living room – the fireplace.

All the thoughts of danger pass through my mind, when I can’t see him, we did have a near miss, when he rolled off the bed but luckily he was in a thick sleeping bag which must have softened his fall, but makes you feel like such a bad mum for leaving the room.

When I speak to other mums, they reassure me that it happens to them all, and from being overcautious initially with every new rash or bump, I can safely say I think Lee too, that we have overcome the worst.

My new life as a mum is an amazing adventure, the lifestyle of baby classes, cinema, and even the experience of soft play are fantastic. Developing my culinary skills by making Annabel’s dishes,  Taking the steak away from Daddy to make a delicious dish for G was amusing. Most of all, meeting other mums and listening to their stories on how they cope with their little ones, learning new things to try and feeling listened to about my worries and concerns.

The changes which occur in your relationship are massive, and such a learning curse for new parents. The difference of how fathers are with their babiescompared to their other halves, are a world apart. Dressing, activity, level of engagement, play, chatting all aids their development, but you can see how your little ones react differently to each parent.

George’s no fear policy is alittle discerning, he frequently dives out of his snug, head first into the carpet and then tells me in a loud scream that he has carpet burn on his nose. I noticed he was rocking on the wooden highchair in a restaurant the other day, by resting one foot on the leg of the table and pushing himself away. Thertefore my eyes are constantly on him, as my mind.

You can understand why  i am having problems letting him go into his own room now.

 

 

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